the following are reposts from my other blog

2:54 PM - my god, my god, why have you forsaken me
Current mood: angry

My father made me go to church three to four times a week when i lived with him. I hated him for making me go, because i hated it there, and never felt comfortable there. I hated him for taking me away from my grandmother, for forcing me to be in a family that was abusive. I hated him for every time that i tried to tell people, hoping somone would rescue me, he said i made everything up. i hate that when i tried to report my abuse, i was told that i was uncovering my spritual authority. I hated him for being him. All i ever wanted was to go home. i cried myself to sleep every night for 11 yrs. I tried to die so many times i can no longer count them. I was hospitalized for an eating disorder, and he told my psychiatrist that i didn't need the antidepressant she proscribed because god would make everything all better. I hated him for being in denial. (i'm bipolar, but i can take care of myself.)i hate my father for forsaking me. but there are worse things.

the church my father made me go to was always having a sex scandle. like i give a shit about other people's sex lives, but the point is this: when i was 12 i was in a church sponsered production of godspell, run by some guy in his early 20's. he raped me, the first rape of 4 rapes total that i've had to live with. when i tried to tell someone, they accused me of starting it. Sound familiar? Read the links below.

http://www.ajc.com/search/content/metro/stories/2006/11/21/metpaulk1121a.html

http://nl.newsbank.com/nl-search/we/Archives?s_hidethis=no&p_product=AT&p_theme=at&p_action=search&p_maxdocs=200&p_field_label-0=Author&p_field_label-1=title&p_bool_label-1=AND&s_dispstring=earl%20paulk%20AND%20date(all)&p_field_advanced-0=&p_text_advanced-0=(earl%20paulk)&xcal_numdocs=20&p_perpage=10&p_sort=_rank_:D&xcal_ranksort=4&xcal_useweights=yes