fuckers were gonna lock me up in grady

ok david, so you don't ask, grady is the public hospital in atlanta. so nobody would sell me meds, i mean no pharmacy and nobody would call me in a damn script either. so i fianlly fell apart and they told brent to take me to grady. he was like, oh they said we have to go to the 13th floor. i was already hysterical before he said that, but i pointed out that what they really wanted to do was lock me up on the 13th floor for five days till i got meds. this, of course, is rediculous, because i was not a danger to anyone or myself at this point, because i was not by myself. and goddamn it, all i wanted to do was sleep. and have my fucking brain shut off. i dont' know if anyone reading this has ever been locked up in a psych ward or even a psych hospital but it's a hell hole dante never dreamed of. i've done the expensive psych hospital when i had good insurance, the county psych hospital, the psych ward, the er, they all fucking suck ass. the worst part was the county psych hospital because there i discovered why they don't let homeless people just wander in to use the bathroom in restuarants. here's where my train of thought was going: many homeless people are homeless because they are mentally ill and are not properly medicated. some depressed people play with feces. i found this out at the hospital because nobody would clean the bathroom in my room because the psycho that was the previous tenet smeared it everywhere. and when i mean everywhere, i mean places that could never get scrubbed clean even with a toothbrush. i had to pee for the mandatory 72 hr lock up but refused to use the nasty ass bathroom. they also strip search you and take everything from you. shoelaces , everything. all i wanted was to go to sleep and to be comforted and i knew they'd take Brucie away from me. so i cried cuz my mind wouldn't stop, i cried because i couldn't sleep, i cried because i miss my mommy and opah, i cried because they would take brucie which made me just cry harder so brent said he wouldn't take me . i don't know how to load a pic of brucie from my phone but i'll see if i can try later. anyway, for those who have never been formally introduced to brucie, he is a bear that mommy has restuffed twice. he used to not be able to sit up and we thought it was important that he be able to see the tv. i' m going to yell at my dr on wednesday and i don't care who hears me and brucie is coming too i don't care how stupid i look