II.(Found in a dusty box)

II.
Once more I watch the rain pelt furiously against the window pane. He wraps his deep, mahogany arms around my waist and rests his chin gently on my head. I breathe deeply, inhaling his scent of cinnamon and laundry detergent, reminding myself of the difference between his scent and that of the cigarettes and that that loom somewhere still in my soul. Everything will be ok because this is different. “This is different,” I whisper, firmly willing the tears to stream down my cheeks. I tightly clench my right hand around the tiny blue pill resting in the palm of my hand. I have learned to take them now, you see. I will take this one and allow myself to forget. I will allow myself to be wrapped up in his arms and to acknowledge that they do not belong to the shadows which haunt me.
Gently his lips trace along the back of my neck, sending goose bumps up my legs and down my arms. I shiver at the warm sensation on my skin. Softly he kisses the back of my neck and if feel my knees buckle out from under me as I fall back into him, his arms still fully locked around my waist. How much of me am willing to surrender in order to forget?
I turn around and kiss him firmly on the lips, wrapping my pale arms around his neck. The heat of his mouth sends shivers down my spine. Leaning against him I kiss him again, absorbing the warmth of his body, He moves his arms from around me and carrying me to the bed, carefully balancing his wight by sitting on my legs so as to crush me. “Did you take your medicine,” he asks, trailing kisses down my stomach. Quickly I shove my right hand beneath the pillow, hiding the tiny blue pill. “Of course,” I reply, tracing little circles on his shoulders with my fingers. Gently he glides his lips back up my stomach to my neck, lingering a few moments before reaching my mouth. Deeply he kisses me openmouthed so many times that I lose count, that they are no longer separate kisses but one long embrace of his lips that seems to catch my soul in his breath. Smoothly running his hands up my sides, catching the fabric of my shirt in his fingers, he lifts my shirt up over my head, unlocking his lips from me briefly. Carelessly he tosses it to the floor along with my black lace bra. His rips run along the side of my face, lingering over my mouth. I run my hands up the clearly defined muscles of his mahogany arms to his shoulders. Nimbly I run my fingers down his spine. Shivers run through me as his mouth traces along my neck. Passionately he kisses my neck, over and over until they are all neither beginning nor ending, and I become one with his breath. Starting with my neck he trails kisses to my stomach, lingering momentarily as his fingers wander around inside my jeans. He withdraws his hands from my jeans and runs his hands down the length of my body. Slowly he lifts his head from my stomach and holds my gaze intently. It is as though his deep brown eyes search the depths of my soul, through all my fears to that part of me that often soars above my body. It is this part of me now that he holds in his gaze, suspended in time and space, between breath and breathing. He needed no words, but searched each fear intently, tossing them about with his mind. Holding his eyes with my own I whisper "be careful," although somehow I feel as though he would have heard me even if I had never spoken a word. He lowers his head and begins to unbutton each of the six buttons of my jeans; he lifts me softly and slips them off. My hands run smoothly down his back and up his shirt, gingerly lifting it over his head. Somewhere amidst kisses the rest of our clothes come off. Somewhere amidst body heat my breath slows. His fingers trace my collarbone, outlining my soul as it ricochets between our melded bodies and the ceiling.